Class of ’90

*sighs* I know so far right now that we’ve lost 6 very good friends that was friends with all of us from Class of ’90.  We aren’t even 50 yet in our class but we are losing classmates to natural and other causes.

 

Why are we suffering so much? What have we done? How can we try to survive longer.  My high school years from 11th grade and on was the only time I really felt like my life was good.  I’d been bullied so much while I was growing up, I was very thankful when I finally hit 11th grade, cause I’d finally been able to keep the bullies at bay just by ignoring them.

 

I always had things keeping my mind and such occupied just to get away from that bullying.  My life has improved so much since then and I am guessing my move to Denver helped with those life improvements and such, but it still makes me wonder what we in the Class of ’90 did to deserve the lose of classmates?  Or am I just over thinking things?

 

Word

Ugh this seriously sucks.  Apparently my disc of Microsoft Word has reached it’s limit on being able to be activated, but the thing is this was on my computer long before I had to shut it down and get a new motherboard and CPU why are they asking me to reactivate it when I never stopped activating it?  This is just downright stupid.

Anyways looks like I can’t work on my stories or anything until we figure out what is going on and such.  Amy is busy with things so hell who knows when I’ll be able to use word again on my main pc now that it is up and running again.  This is just frustrating as hell.

 

Moving Time

Amy and I have been going through 20 years of stuff, since Amy was here in this apartment, with her now ex, until 10 or so years back.  There is a lot of stuff to go through.

We are in the process of trimming down and getting rid of a lot of things, to prepare for our move into our new apartment next month.  It’s a pain in the ass but it’s got to be done so that we won’t have so much STUFF to go into the new play and it won’t be cluttered like it is now.

I can’t wait for us to be in the new place on the second floor, and I’ll finally be able to sleep with windows open and fans blowing in instead of using the AC so much.  This move will also put me closer to some things, cause right now I’m seriously getting to that point in my life that I really want to try and work out and what not to help my health improve.

It’s gonna take a lot of encouragement and more to get me to stick to this idea, but after my dad has been in the hospital a number of times and what not recently; I’ve been thinking of changing things in my life some health wise to help improve upon my health so I don’t wind up like my dad of late with his out of control blood sugar and such.

Who knows I might start changing my diet little by little until I can be satisfied with that area of eating, cause I know that has been where most of my issues are.  I’ve been trying to cook more at home and such instead of getting fast food.  Which means, Amy herself is also gonna have to start moving more away from the fast food area of meals.

I’m sure once we get moved into the new place, more cooking will be done cause we will finally have the cabinet space and such for placing canned goods and what not in since we will actually have cabinet space to spread out the pans and what not as well.

Anyways, we hope winter doesn’t decide to come bite us in the ass when we finally get around to moving into the new place.  Mother Nature has been kind of skimping on that part of Colorado weather and we sure as hell don’t want a blizzard to hit in the process of moving.

 

Scam Alert!

I got a rather strange call today, and I was like how the hell is my cellphone calling my cellphone with the same number.  Well apparently it’s a scamming attempt to get peoples information.

AT&T said it was most likely a hack attempt to steal information from your account and everything, so people if you EVER get a call from your number that is on the same phone it is calling, hang up on it.

Our things haven’t gone Sentient yet but do keep in mind, hard pressed people and foreign countries and more out there are trying to cause damage to you and your credit and as well as testing companies’ security system.

I repeat do not put in any numbers of your account or the prime account holder when that type of call happens.  IT IS A SCAM.

Have great day everyone and stay safe, saavy and secure out there in this ever changing dangerous world of ours.

 

Dental Work & Other News

On the 30th of June, I had a wisdom tooth extracted and a deep clean of that side.  I was worried cause the bleeding hadn’t really stopped the next day, but finally it did after we went back to see the dentist.

 

He said it was healing and don’t eat on it and leave the gauze out and I did and it finally stopped after I started eating some food.  Well next Monday I got back to the dentist to get the other side done, but I already told him that I’m gonna hold off on getting the other wisdom tooth pulled.  I’ll do the deep clean and fillings but that’s about it until I know what I can do after talking to my regular doctor.

 

Well good thing is I only had two wisdom teeth and they are both upper and that they grew in rather straight unlike some people.  I’m lucky I don’t have bottom ones also, thank gods.  I also only had like two cavities, and this is coming from a person who hasn’t been to a dentist in over 30+ years, so I’m kind of surprised myself I don’t have more, and I’m sure the dentist himself was pretty surprised.

 

Anyways, next year we will be moved into a newer apartment here at our complex, so that they can finally renovate the one we are in now, which hasn’t been renovated since my better half has lived here.  The complex definitely wants to keep us as residents and we will hopefully be moved into one of the ones that have already been renovated.  I for one am hoping we get an upstairs unit, this way I ain’t go to worry about someone trying to break into the apartment and can actually sleep with the patio and windows open.  Well the patio will be closed at night but yeah, having windows open and using fans will be nice to save on our electric bill.

 

Anyways, I think I’m done writing on my blog for the day.  I’m gonna start working on a new story idea that is rolling around in my head.  So I hope everyone had a great 4th of July and are enjoying their summer and more.  I will hopefully be writing again on my blog if something worth chatting about comes up :).  Later.

 

Damn it’s been 2 years

Damn it’s been 2 years since I posted anything to this blog.  Well not much has been around to talk about.  I am still with my man, who is now transitioning into a woman, and we have been together going on 9 years this year.

I will tell everyone this right here and right now.  I have been accepting of Erbo, transitioning to Amy for 4 going on 5 years now, and IF ANYONE posts a comment that is degrading and what not I will block you from posting again on my web page and do the same with any name you come back with to do this.  I say this to you,  ya’ll can go fuck yourselves cause that’s how I feel about ANYONE degrading people who transgender.

My goddaughter is also transgender so get over yourselves and keep your religious shit to yourself.  Yes I’m a Christian, but I am not an EXTREMIST like most of them out there.  I have been saved and baptized and I know where I am going and I know it ain’t hell, which is where the extremists will be going.

I’m a very spiritual person, and I see people for people and who they are and what their heart and soul is.  I don’t care what gender they be, what race they be or whatever.  We all came from the same people, the same being and so forth.  Just get over yourselves and you can live your life as you want, but don’t drag that shit into my blog by comments.

Anyways, I’m done with my soap box and all :).  I’m just still healthy and so is my better half and we still love each other to death.  I fell in love with the person not their gender.  Take care everyone and have a great day.

Wow been a while

I’m sorry about not keeping things going here.  Just life in general gets very busy for me and usually I have nothing really to really write about. 🙂

Well here’s a few things:

My health is still the same and I’m staying healthy to the best of my ability. My asthma is in good control and my protime or NRI is doing great and the diabetes is the only thing being stubborn even though I’ve lost weight, it just doesn’t want to give up it’s foot hold, but you know, I’m still walking and breathing and eventually the diabetes will give up it’s hold, I just have to keep doing whatever it is I’m doing to help get it there.

My sister finally got her book out there and has had a number of her books bought, and she has even been asked to write the rest of her life story by a few people that have bought her book :).  I hope she does, cause her life is very interesting compared to mine :), but just to give a heads up, if anyone goes to Amazon.com and looks up “Don’t Cry Broken Angel” be prepared for some rather graphic reading and it’s all true.

We bought our godsons/nephews their own xbox one for Christmas this year with a some games so that when I’m on the xbox one and on one of those games, then they can join me in play.

I also saved up over $1000 to build myself a brand new system, I’ve named it Phoenix and have retired my old machine, Kaliska, which will be used for a new and better updated server for our family minecraft, in hopes that it will be less laggy then what we have for that right now since Delenn is used as more of a mail server for my fiance’s comcast mail gathering and a few other things.

Erbo (Eric) and I have been together for 7 years and are still going strong.  We still have minor political arguments and a few other arguments, but you know; lol, that’s just us.  We are still very much in love and very happy with each other :).  We take care of each other and I am slowly getting back into cooking home meals from time to time so we don’t always have to bring home take out.

Penny, our little kitty, is doing fine and still healthy and well loved and she returns the love 10 fold.  She’s a wonderful and very loving pet, and we still think of her as our child, though she is a black kitty with a touch of white on her belly and chest and has four legs and meows and purrs instead of talking back or talking :).

My dad is doing great over in Illinois and we keep in contact as much as possible :).  I’ll most likely soon enough be saving up to get him a new computer that he can pick up at Best Buy and what not.  The one he has, had finally given up the ghost, but then he won’t get it until his birthday come July.  I’m putting money aside right now to help pay off the card that Erbo used to get the boys their Christmas presents.  Hopefully that won’t be to long :).

My mom and step-dad are doing well as well.  They are both healthy and my step-dad still drives those 18 wheelers.  Mom has semi-retired from driving the big trucks cause of some of her health issues, but other then that they are both doing well.

I had a shock last year just before Christmas.  I ended up getting a Christmas card from my brother and his girlfriend and her family for Christmas.  I was like oh my really.  It’s about time my brother found someone who can put up with his shit and keep him in line :).  Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother to bits, but it’s best that we stay apart, but it’s nice to hear from him from time to time cause at least then I know he’s doing fine.  As for his health, I have no clue, but I hope it has improved since I last seen him a few years back when Eric and I went to Illinois to visit dad for his birthday.  We also went and seen mom and my step-dad and a few other family members, including my Aunt in Arkansas.

As for the rest of my time so far, it’s been playing minecraft, trying to continue to write books, playing on the xbox and on Second Life.  Sadly my creative juices are kind of blocked right now and it’s hard for me to try to write or build things, so I play on the xbox and facebook and listen to my music in hopes that some day soon enough I’ll be able to get back to the writing and being creative again, but until then I’ll do what ever I can do to have fun and such.

Never Ending Winter

The winter seems to be never ending this year, but I’ve got hope with the past few warm days that winter is about to end in time for a nice spring.

Mother Nature has definantly gone into Menopause this last bit of winter.  We are warm and nice one day, but then the next we are back into cold and snow or just cold, but guess what :), I really don’t care.  I love how the weather is and such.  It’s nice to be so unpredictable lots of times, cause by the time summer gets here people are going to be wanting fall and winter to come sooner then later.  The temps here in the summer depends on what mother nature will do.  We are usually in the 80s or 90s in the summer with very little moisture, but hey that’s what nature is like.  You are suppose to be unpredictable and hint at things to come. 🙂

Today we had snow, while the past two days have been warm and windy and in the 60s and 70s, today snow and in the 30s and 40s :).  It’s been cloudy all day and will continue to be, we even have more snow possibly tonight, but it ain’t going to be much :).

Ahh nature what a wonderful thing :).  Enjoy the hints of the coming seasons, because if you don’t you’ll regret it :).

 

Friends

You know ever since facebook came out it’s been very popular, and I discovered I had way more friends then I thought in high school and those I went to school with.  It’s amazing how you find out some things like that, but I also found out that some people that didn’t accept my friendship were the same ones who didn’t like me in high school and bullied me and still don’t want to be friends with me, but you know what.  I honestly don’t care much on that end any more.  It’s their life and that’s who they will forever be.

I did however ask a question of my friends and classmates why they remained where they were or where they moved to and the answers so far are pretty great.  I miss my friends, but you know, I can at least keep in some what contact with them and enjoy their life moments and their reasons behind why they stayed or moved :).  I like learning about my friends lives and what not.  It makes me feel great that everyone is having a wonderful life.

To all my friends and family over on facebook thank you for being there for me at times and keeping me up to date to the best of ya’ll’s abilities :).  I hope ya’ll’s lives continue to be wonderful and beautiful :).

Growing Up

As I sit here in front of my computer, and look through Facebook.  I notice some things about my life as I was growing up.  The main thought is, Why was I picked on while growing up?

I have no answer to this, cause seriously, from the time I started school until I graduated high school, I was always picked on and made fun of.  I never in my life from Daycare days to graduating high school, NEVER picked on anyone at all.  I never called any of my classmates names, and I never picked on them.  I was always smiling and telling people good luck and best wishes and everything, yet some of my classmates picked on me and called me names.

Back then I never really let people know that I was hurting inside and such cause of all the picking on and name calling me they did.  I finally shut down in high school and just tried my best to ignore the hurt and pain I was feeling as they continued to pick on me and such.  My life growing up, at least through school, was hard, very hard on me.  I had very and I mean VERY few friends, cause all the others that picked on me never really became my friends.  I’m a friendly person at least until someone pushes the right buttons and I get pissed off then, but I never once went off on any of the ones picking on me while in school.

I knew though that it would be my luck that if I did, I’d be the one most likely to be suspended or something, but I honestly don’t know for sure if that would have happened, but I avoided causing any problems cause I know it could get me in trouble.  I was paddled in middle school, and I honestly don’t remember why that even happened, but after that nothing, but I was still being picked on.  So basically I just shut myself down in high school and tried to mainly concentrate on my band, working in the library, and my other classes.  I still barely passed in many of my classes, but at least I did pass and I did graduate.  I felt finally FREE of the harassment and the picking on and name calling.  I went to college graduated from one, that shut down, but didn’t graduate from the other, just cause I couldn’t afford it any more and I had gotten really sick and I felt my health was better then the stress.  I thankfully was never made fun of or talked about or picked on in college or at least I don’t think I was and if I was they kept it out of my hearing and such.

Anyways, most of my pain and hurt and anger I was feeling, I’d put into over 300+ poems.  I’d wrote them and then put them on computer and sadly I lost ALL of them and my 3 stories I’d written in a major HD Crash and it was unrecoverable.  It sucked that I’d lost years up on years of writing and was unable to recover the stuff.  I will never get over losing that stuff, but at least from time to time I still try to write when I can.  I have a better life now then I did back then.  I’m with the man I love very much and living with him.  He tries his best to keep me happy and that is often, but then there are times like this or other times that my past slips in and causes a depression, but thankfully that depression doesn’t happen long, cause of the GREAT friends I have now.  I also live in the beautiful state of Colorado and the mountains and country side here are always breathtaking.  I no longer live in Arkansas where my old life was, I was able to get my dad back up to Illinois to live with his family, so I wouldn’t have to worry so much about him any more.

My mom is fine and also lives in Illinois along with my stepfather.  My brother well, not much I have to say about him, I just want him to be happy and no where near me.  I love him yes but we tend to get along better when we are separated and apart.  It’s for the best this way and only seeing each other every now and then.  We were always fighting and that just made me feel even worse as I was growing up, so combining that with the picking on and name calling at school, I was never stress free.  I was always stressed out to the point that I would literally walk home from school after school is let out.  I would take long walks just to think or cry or whatever before I got home.  I was always walking around Arkadelphia and continued to do walking when I could before my health got really bad.

Hell I remember the days when I could do a lot of swimming, biking, walking, hiking and more.  I remember hiking up and down West Mountain and Hot Springs Mountain.  I remember swimming in Degray Lake and other places.  I remember riding my bike all over the place, down to my aunt’s or cousins or something, just to get away from the every day stress of life.  It was the only way I could feel free and think or even work out my frustrations.

Sadly now a days, since my health is as it is, I can’t really do that much any more.  I have to get on Xbox or some other computer game to kill or shot things or something to work out my frustration and sometimes that’s not even wise, especially on Xbox.  Other players out there start shit talking and it pisses me off, especially when they are shit talking and picking on my friends that I’m playing with.  I now tell them what for.  I find it funny, but then I start noticing I’m just getting ticked off more and my blood pressure goes up.  I am much better off when I’m in a party chat cause then I don’t have to hear what the others are saying and I keep my cool until I’ve been playing to long and I start getting mad even in party chat. Lol that’s when I know it’s time to call it quits for the night or day depending on what time it is, mostly night.

I do however still write when I need to and such, though it’s not often.  I usually just go lie down and go to sleep.

Well I don’t have much else to say, so I’m going to end this post here. I feel a lot better typing this out and posting it.  🙂