Archive for the ‘Rave’ Category

Ugh! I’m not a happy camper this morning.  I seriously HATE at times being a woman, especially when your body constantly changes your mind.

Why you ask? Well lets just put it out there bluntly and this might be TMI to a lot of people, but oh well.

I swore I had stopped Friday night or early Saturday, but damned if my body decided to do something about that.  I woke up this morning on IT again, and I just WISH I could afford to go get my bits taken out so I didn’t have to worry about my unpredictable ass system and body.

WHY ME??? I sometimes just wish it would GO AWAY! I’m tired of my unpredictable body and my irregular flows! I guess I’m happy I wasn’t in the mood last night cause that would just have been to much for me to handle *sighs*.

I also wish this pollen would hurry up and go away as well but there is no telling when that will be happening, and I also wish the cat would stop scraping her food out of her dish and onto the floor and wasting food, but that ain’t going to happen any times soon.  I’m thinking of washing the new dish and such today just to change out her food dish and see what happens then.  Hell it may be her way of telling her she needs a clean dish.  I don’t know, how can you know what a cat is saying when they can’t speak.  You can’t read their minds.

Wishful thinking that’s all it is and I know for a fact that wishes like mine don’t come true.  Some of them do but not all of them, like the one dealing with the cat and her food and my annoying body and system.  I do have many good things that have happened in my life and one of them being the man I feel in love with and visa versa with him falling in love with me, for I was not looking and he came into my life.  Thank the good Lord for some things.



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Wow big lottery jackpots bring out the stupid people who spend all their damn money on a shit load of tickets instead of on what’s necessary in life.

I guess GREED is well and strong in this world today, especially here in the great USA.

I don’t brag about buying a shit load of tickets and post pictures and shit like that on Facebook.  That’s just STUPID!

At least I know where my happiness lies, and it lies with the love of myself, my family and those of friends who ACTUALLY CARE, not those who PRETEND to CARE.  I also know my happiness is in knowing that God loves me no matter what.

MONEY doesn’t make anyone REALLY happy just GREEDY and STUPID.  I’m happy with what my man can get me and all but we also don’t splurge every last cent we have on buying a shit load of lottery tickets, that if not winning tickets become more litter for the garbage and the world.  You people are really stupid thinking that all those tickets might be lucky when before you know it you’ll get a kick in the ass cause guess what YOU DID NOT WIN!

You could have spent that money on something else that would be more important, like food or even something for your pets or you children, or even helping out a family member, but NOOOO you’d rather spend it on litter which is what non-winning tickets turn into.  Nothing but trash.

Man I hope all you silly people out there fall flat on your ass when you LOSE cause it’s going to be very hard for ANYONE to win, but keep spending your money frivolously, cause that’s all you are doing, you are no better then the government who spends our own money that we deserve and need on other frivolous shit.  Have fun and I hope the ground isn’t too hard on your ass when you fall to the ground and blow a fit for not winning a stupid lottery jackpot, but if it is hard when you hit, tough shit you deserve it.

That’s all I have to say to you stupid people out there.

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Well lets just say this, Tebow is being traded, first it was to the Jets until the Jets discovered a slight clause in his contract that they would have to pay him 5 million dollars, now they’ve decided NOT to take on Tebow and have stepped back.

Now Jacksonville is back in the running and they REALLY REALLY want him, and I hope that they do get him, cause that would be his home stomping grounds, and I think he will do Jacksonville proud! Go Tebow!  I’d love to see a Bronco and Jaguars game and see who does better.  Tebow has a lot of potential within him if people will just give him time and help him reach that potential. Who ever gets Tebow has so much more potential to reach the Super Bowl then some do.

Yeah Manning is good, but gee don’t get me wrong, the man is 36, was out of football for a whole YEAR and has gone through 4 neck surgeries, but that don’t mean he is up to his power house self that he was when he first started playing for the NFL, but best of luck anyways and it will be the Broncos loss and Elway’s failure if Manning gets hurt and can no longer play.

I will continue to be a fan of Tim Tebow, because he has talent, he is worth it and is a good man and a good role model. Whoever gets Tim Tebow will have a horde of fans to help them along the way, and I’ve got a gut instinct that Tebow will hit the Super Bowl and when he does the Broncos will see what they lost, and I’m not going to feel sorry for them.  They picked, they traded, they made their bed and they’ll have to sleep in it!

Good luck to you Tim Tebow, and know that you have a ton of fans out there that will support you and be there to watch you.  God Bless and I hope the Jaguars will get you :). You will be missed here in Denver by your many fans, but the haters out there are way to far happy that you are gone, cause they can’t see your potential like many of us can.


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You know there is that special four legged person that you come to love, that you have either found on the streets or rescued from the humane society, but still you gave them a home.

Well my first cat I ever finally got to have was back in the year 1997, not long after the March 1st tornado outbreak in Arkansas that the twister decided to go behind my house.  We moved soon after that, cause it took damn near 2 hours for my dad and brother to get home from work cause all the regular routes home were blocked by downed trees and debris.  It’s like a damn bomb went off not far behind our home.

Brother decided after that day that he would head to Oklahoma, while dad and I headed up to Jacksonville, AR to live.  This is where I got my very first cat.  I still had my dog Natasha, but sadly not long after the tornado outbreak, she died of natural causes.

A neighbor in the trailer park where we were living was fostering pets for the local human society, and I met Deamon, who had two personalities, the lovey dovey during heat and then the demon cat from hell.  Well she wasn’t really a demon, but she did have different personalities, Deamon and Deamonese. Deamon had just weaned her 1st litter of kittens and was probably just turning a year old.  She was a good mouser and she was also a Torte.  Those who know cat breads will know a Torte :).

Deamon had a way of letting you know in no uncertain terms that she had enough petting and loving, when she would wind up clawing and biting you.  Yep that’s her cat from hell side.  During her heat cycles though she was all over you wanting attention, and this was her Deamonese side :).

She lived from 1997 to 2007 so she lived a good life.  I had to have her put to sleep for advanced breast cancer, it was to far along to catch, and I couldn’t afford the vet care for her.  She’d been a good cat and had live very long and good life.  I still miss her from time to time but I know she is no longer suffering in pain and bleeding profusely like she was.  She is now in kitty heaven in the eternal catnip fields enjoying her new life up there and very happy.

My fiance had a cat who was very old, and Starry Star lived for a long, long time after he and his ex had picked her out.  According to him, Star, was already old when they’d gotten her.  She waited until he was no longer alone in life before she quietly passed away on the way to the vet.  I was there to support him and for him to lean on, so we know both cats are now in the eternal catnip fields playing with each other and the other kitties that have passed on in this world.  They are no longer in pain and are healthy up there.  They will be forever missed.

Then just last year or the year before we finally broke down and went over the the Dumb Friends League right down the street from us and picked out another kitty to love and cherish, and in arrive Penelope or Penny for short.  She’d just weaned her kittens two weeks pryer to going up for adoption.  We feel in love with her.  She is well loved and taken care of and returns that love unconditionally.  She’s usually a goody kitty, but then there are times that she is a Miss Toot Girl 🙂 as you have all previously read about the cat food blunder post I posted last month. LOL :). Penny has a mix of both Deamon and Star in her with the way she acts at times.  We sometimes accidentally calls her by one of our former kitty names.  I sometimes call her Deamon, but it’s gotten less and Erbo sometimes ended up calling her Star, but it’s not as prominent as it was at the beginning of us getting her.

You know having pets can enhance a person’s life and it feels so good to be able to say hey I saved that animal’s life.  Dogs and Cats are the best, but there are so many animals out there that have been abused from cats, dogs, horses and more.  Or they just couldn’t be taken care of cause of money situations.  It’s very hard to have to let your pet go if you can’t take care of them.  I’ve been in that situation many a time.  I’ve seen way to many shows that show animals just being abandoned and left to try and fiend for themselves instead of taking the time to take the animal to a shelter that hopefully has room.

People if you can’t take care of your pets, then try your best to try and get them to a shelter, or try your best to find someone who CAN afford to take care of an animal.  It is so much better then leaving them to defend for themselves, starving to death and the likes.  That is no way for an animal to be left to die.  It’s sad and irritating as hell and it makes me want to just go around and beat some sense into the people who abuse animals to for the fun of it or abandon them to starve to death.  You aren’t human beings if you are doing that, you are nothing but animals yourself.  Animals have feelings as well as we humans do, they just can’t speak up about it and report it, but they can show you that they do by attacking you back if you’ve abused them and the likes. Get a life people and those that abuse animals need to go to jail and stay there.

Anyways, I’ll get off my soap box for now, but be smart.  If you have a pet and can’t afford to take care of them find someone who can.  Pets are loving beings and need a home as much as we do.  If I could I’d try and take every single animal I could in, but that isn’t likely since that would also be known as hording and I don’t want to wind up in jail for that or forced to get rid of some of them.  If I had a nice big farm I’d definitely try if I could but still that won’t happen unless I win the Powerball, which isn’t likely to happen any time soon. 🙂

Enjoy your pets, and love them for they are a part of your family and they will return the love and attention.  They deserve so much more and better things, but if you can’t afford all those wonderful things we know pets could use, don’t worry, just make sure they are loved and well taken care of.  Make sure they are fixed and have a microchip in them as well as are up to date on all their shots.  Most importantly, love them and keep them feed if that’s all you can do.  They are as precious as a child and deserve to be loved and treated well.

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My Life

You know compared to some out there my childhood and life are rather DULL.  I’d never thought of it that way until now.

Yes I had a few ups and downs during my life, but my childhood was one of those downward flows.  You see I was overweight, and still am today, but back then when you are a child and you are bullied constantly cause you are overweight, it can be very painful.

I am very thankful that it didn’t drive me to do something stupid and silly like oh say suicide, but there were defininently  a few times I did think of that, especially after my first love dumped me after a year we were going together.  Yes I understand now that the way I acted was oh I’d say clingy I guess, was cause he was the first real person who treated me like any other person.  He didn’t treat me like I was overweight, but just as a person.  One who needed a good friend to talk to and hang out with.  It wasn’t his fault I guess that I turned out that way, but anyone who’d been bullied, insulted, made fun of all their young life when they were finally able to walk and talk until all the way through high school, they’d react most likely the same way.  Now don’t anyone out there disagree, we all know that peer pressure is horrible, even to the children out there today.  We seen the teen pregnancy and the teen suicides go up over there years, because of this peer pressure.

Anyways, sorry lol, got off track, now where was I.  Oh yeah my childhood and the hell I went through from all the bullies out there, and yes you all know who you are out there.  I hope though that with age and with your own children out there that you improved and taught your children better, but we also know that no matter what someone will digress back towards their bully stage and even their children will pick up and learn that hey dad or mom is making fun of those people and their kids why can’t we and follow in their footsteps.  I guess it can’t be helped but I hope against hope that it can be.

Being overweight and acting differently and being smarter then some kids and better then other kids in sports can get you bullied.  I never once, that I remember growing up and until this day, have never once bullied anyone.  I knew it wasn’t right to do so.  People can’t help for how they are and how they act and look.  We all have our issues and insecurities, but do you REALLY need to put those issues and insecurities onto others because you have no other way to do it, so you bully them and don’t let up until finally that person says, “Fuck you all and starts completely ignoring your bullying asses.”  I was one of those kids, who finally said enough was enough in high school and started ignoring each and everyone of those who bullied me.  I stuck to my classes, even though I graduated average in my class, at least I graduated from high school for the best of my abilities.  I ignored, stuck to my classes and stuck to playing in the band.  I really didn’t care what chair I got in band and was happy to just be able to play in the band and do what some kids only dreamed they could when going to school with learning abilities and issues; to my way of issues is being overweight and the ugly fat kid *shrugs*.

Well I might still be overweight, but I’ve started working on that issues, since I’ve been diagnosed as having type 2 diabetes, most of this was brought onto me because of my health issues and almost dieing from bleeding constantly for  6 years, and then having been put on some medicines that cause blood clots and the likes to hit me and add more weight to what I already had.  I finally said screw it when it was getting to the point that I could hardly walk cause I’d gained way to much pounds.  I had gained an extra 100 pounds cause of this medicine I was on, and once I finally got off that medicine, I started doing better.

When I moved here to Denver 4 years ago, I was over 400 pounds, now I’m down to 315 pounds and still losing it, slowly but surely.  I am now able to walk better, I can actually climb in and out of the bathtub finally with no help, but I still have breathing issues and joint issues. I am also still diabetic, but hopefully that will eventually go away once I get down to the weight I need to be, but who knows.  All I’m saying is that be happy for who you are and what you are.  Be happy and THANKFUL that you are alive at your age instead of buried 6 feet under, like some of our classmates we went to school with.  Just be THANKFUL that you are alive and well and are HAPPY with YOURSELF not what others think of you.

Even today I bet I’d still be bullied and made fun of cause I’m overweight still, but you know what, I DO NOT care.  I’m happy with myself, I love myself, I have a life that I love, and a wonderful man who has brought nothing but cherish, love and happiness into my life, he also spoils me rotten and he LOVES me for who I am INSIDE not on the outside.

Come on people, get over yourselves and be happy with your life and LIVE, be happy that you are still ALIVE and not dead.  You’ve had broken marriages and bad relationships.  Learn to LOVE yourself and others will follow.  Don’t let it keep you down.  Pick yourself up off that ground and floor and keep going forward in life.  Life is just to short to let it drag you down.  You need to take control of your life, not let others control you.  That’s not what life is all about.  Life is about being alive and happy with yourself.

For those who still bully others because they are different, grow up will you.  You aren’t controlling your life you are ruining it for yourself and are letting things control your way of thought instead of thinking for yourself.

My childhood sucked, but damn I got over it fast when I just finally had enough of the bullshit from others.  Back then I couldn’t tell people what I thought of them, cause I was doing the right thing and not egging it on, also back in our days we got severely punished in school if we even said one foul word to others. I wanted to tell all the bullies out there, many times, to fuck off and live your own life and leave me alone in peace, but I was raised better then that.

Now though it feels good, though it is many years to late, to tell you what I actually think of you all.  You now know how I felt about those who bullied me.  I feel better now getting this off my chest, for I’ve been holding it in way way to long.

OK I’m done with my ranting and raving for now.  Later all :).  Come back for some more ranting and raving and individual thoughts if you wish.

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You know I’ve read a number of stories out there that are blogged about, and I shudder at how that person’s life had been in the past, but have learned that, that person’s life is much better now then what was in the past.

I’m thankful for my life that I have had and am very grateful to learn how life could have been if I hadn’t listened and done what I was told or that I was mistreated by people.

It puts my tame life to shame to see what others have been through.

I wish I could have known things about some people and try to help them, but God seems to lead us all in different directions but they all come full circle for much better lives that they lead now.

Some people though never really learned from their past mistakes and continue to make the same ones over, while others do learn and try to make their lives better and work towards it.

It’s called age and wisdom, the older a person gets the more they look over their pasts and say “There are some things I would never change in my life, but there are some things that I wish I could have done better in the past.”

It’s hard to put a lot of their past life aggressions and what happened to them down in a blog, but you know they have finally reached that time in their life that they want to hopefully make a different in another persons life to show them that they have a better life ahead of them to go one way and try their best to avoid the other path.

God has given us many faults that we have to look through and learn from and then maybe finally we will understand what our lives are here for, but then there are people out there that really don’t understand the way some people live.

I don’t mean to offend anyone with this post, cause I know many different religions are out there and teach their followers differently.  I’m Christian and proud of it.  I might not go to church, cause the churches I went to when I was younger were much better then they are now.  The churches I went to back in my childhood days wasn’t so screwed up as some of them are today.

I went back to a church that when I was younger had a lot of people involved and we actually talked about the correct things.  I rediscovered the church when I moved back to that town, but it wasn’t the same.  It seems that my church had broken into two different factions, and I discovered that this wasn’t the same.  How did I discover this you might ask?

Well simply put my original church actually talked about God and never ONCE pulled a stunt like bringing politics into the conversation.  The church I thought was the old turned out to be the new side and when the preacher said something about President Bush (the second President Bush), he said something along this line, if President Bush went to church YOU should also go to church as well.

Well after that I never returned back to that church and will never go back to another church again UNLESS they never brought up POLITICS like that one did.  It turned me off completely, cause I’m in the mind that Politics should NEVER be mixed with Church.  They are TWO VERY SEPARATE beings in my mind and it just ruined my going back to church ever again; I honestly don’t think there are churches out there that don’t have politics involved in our world today.

I’m a Christian, I’ve been saved and baptized.  I KNOW where I am going and NO ONE needs to ever tell me other wise, so if you don’t like this post I’m sorry but this is my opinion on some things that I feel strongly about.  I will never ever push this belief on anyone who doesn’t want to know it or get to know it.  I do read my bible and I do pray, especially when I’m sick and worried about if I’m going to get better.  I pray for other people who are ill and hope that all will be good in the end.  We will ALL die eventually, no matter what religion or beliefs we have, we ALL go back to the earth from wince we came.

God Bless everyone out there and I hope your lives improve or are for the better, for you pulled yourself out of the deep dark areas that your lives were mostly by sheer will power to survive and live and make things better for yourself and those you love. 🙂


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Why is this person talking about dreams you ask or think to yourself.

Well this isn’t the dreams that you dream of to become a millionaire that I’m talking about.

These are the dreams that people dream while they are sleeping at night or whenever they be sleeping.

Some people will remember their dreams, and some will not.

Dreams are what stories are made of, the ideas that pop into motion within ones thoughts as they are sleeping.

I had such a dream last night, or should I say early this morning, LOL.

The details were so vivid and an idea might pop from it, or I just want to talk about it.

In this dream I had early this morning, it was about a Native American couple.  Many people discriminate or don’t even acknowledge that the Native Americans are here in our very world today, because to many they think of the old west and the cowboy and indian battles that took place. Many also think they are starving and barely making a living out there living on their reservations, but little do people know that the Native Americans are if not richer then us by far.  Their culture is part of it, the other part deals with Casinos, oil rights and even those who were able to break away from the reservation in today’s world to make their way in the business world, ranching and more, but people never pay attention to what the first Americans who were here before the Europeans or second Americans came to this world.  Anyways, back to my dream, sorry about going off the subject of what I’m talking about lol.

In this dream there was a Native American couple, the young man helped his grandfather or father to deliver a bull into a ranchers hands.  On the way they were attacked, but they survived.  Upon arrival, the young man was badly hurt, and the ranchers daughter, who was half Native American, came out and helped control the bleeding and to help healing the young man.  This leads to the young man and the elder Native American to remain and live on the ranchers land and to help around the ranch, while the ranchers daughter and the young man finished high school. The couple feel deeply in love with each other and not long after they graduated from high school they marry.

After they marry, they both go off to tend the same college, but had to take a train to get to where they needed to go.  Back in this day this is when they segregated the poor folk as well as the black folk and the Native Americans from the rich fat people and were placed in a separate car from the others.  On this train trip there are two antagonist, a young man and a young woman, who seem to focus mostly on the Native American couple and they tend to taunt and start fights with them.

The young woman of the couple decided enough was enough, and little to people knowing it, she was a medicine woman of her tribe, so she first focused on the female of the two antagonist and used a spell upon her to make her very sick and with the sickness the young woman passes on.  The others who were riding with the couple soon became friends with them and allies, cause they too had gotten tired of being egged on and picked on because of their status within the world.  Soon after the mysterious illness and death of the female worker the other workers had wondered what had happened, but no one knew or even asked about it cause they were worried they might get it next.

The male worker still didn’t get the message and continued to be disrespectful, and later that night, one of the male occupants of the car came forward and pulled with him something and placed it in front of the young Native American woman and asked if she could do the same for the final disrespecting worker and all the others also tossed in what ever was needed to help, and so the medicine woman does her work one last time and instead of causing an illness, she was able to make the disrespectful worker get drunk at the next stop where he is left behind and soon dies not long after the train has pulled away from the stop.

The idea behind this dream was sweet revenge, but don’t ever think that people have the power to make people ill with magic and the likes to get revenge, but who knows what happens out there and who does what.  I do not disrespect what goes on out there, but I don’t take a part in it either.  To me what happens will happen and life goes on, but still to have sweet revenge against antagonist like this is always a good story with a great ending or at least to some it would be.

In real life we have to deal with all sorts of disrespect, and we all hope that one day that the disrespect will turn into respect and people will some day be able to look at others as the same as them, no matter what your race, color or if you are rich and poor and the likes.  Everyone deserves a chance and deserves respect in the appropriate areas and fair trials and all that.  We all know there are assholes out there who think they are better then anyone else when they are not, but no one can tell this person seriously that no one is better then the next person without offending them when you are doing nothing but just telling the truth, but the truth is better then no truth.  Respect those who deserve it and you will get respect back.

Me I will sometimes straight up just tell the person bluntly what I think of the attitudes they have, cause I just don’t beat around the bush.  I go straight for the jugular and will take no prisoners, and if you don’t like what I tell you then you need to take another look at yourself closely and figure out where you are wrong and fix it or you will forever be left behind and alone, with no friends and eventually you might lose all respect for yourself.

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